collegehumor: Efficiently Sorting Cases of Beer ...

19 years of age.
Average build.
Reddish hair.
I love rock music.
I play guitar.
I play piano.
I don't practice piano very much.
I like guitar much better.
2 minute noodles are a staple food for me.
I love chicken shnittys.
My hero is James Hetfield.
Look him up if you don't know who he is.
Sometimes I like to take off my clothes and dance in the rain naked.
I also like to tell really obvious ridiculous lies.
I live in Australia.
I like Australia.
I've never been outside Australia.
I want to go overseas.
I think I might be an American at heart...
well. not really.
I just like American cars and motorcycles.
Actually that's about it.
I prefer Australia.
Glad we sorted that out.
When I started typing this I thought I was going to write a serious description of myself.
Well, you can see how that went.
Eh.
Short sentences are easy to type.
Hi.
Comedy is an integral part of my life:
Without it, I would be a starkly different man.
Do I call myself a Man? I mean, I'm 18.
I don't know.
Let's say I'd be a starkly different GUY instead.
I seem to like rambling on about myself.
Why did I just say I "seem" to like rambling on about myself?
I know exactly what I like.
But I'm not going to tell you.
In fact, I'm just going to feign disinterest at such a topic, and say I "seem" to like rambling on about myself.
I seem to enjoy making myself seem smart by using big words every now and again.
Disestablishmentarianism. I don't even know what that means, but I'm going to say it anyway. Because I'm rad-tastic.
Don't know what radtastic is? Look it up on this website! www.meatspin.com
If you fell for that... well. I pity you.
You must have been dropped at birth.
And NOT into a basket of sexy.
Into a basket of STUPID.
yeah.
Take that, person I may or may not know who just clicked on a link (would it be a link?), or copy+pasted my link into their address bar.
I wonder if this mystery person uses Firefox or Chrome?
Actually, they'd be pretty stupid, so they're probably using IE.
Hahahahahaha, what a tool.
No one uses IE, except for when they're downloading Chrome or Firefox. Or possibly Safari. But who the hell uses safari, on a windows computer?
Not me. I'm loyal to Windows.
Crappy, crappy windows.
I should probably install obuntoo, or whatever the hell it's called.
But that would require effort.
Probably not a whole lot of it, but still.
I could put that effort to better use.
Not that I would, but I could.
And now, a Haiku. For no discernable reason.
Terry Vu is gay.
Terry Vu is gay.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,
Terry Vu is gay.
(C) Terry Vu, MMX.
That wonderful haiku was written by my good friend, Terry Vu, in 2010.
In case you couldn't figure out what MMX means.
It's 2010 in roman numerals.
"Why write that date in roman numerals?" you ask.
"Shut the hell up," I retort.
"Whoah whoah whoah whoah whoah, whoah, whoah. Lois this isn't my Batman glass." You say.
Well, my respect for you has just gone up a notch.
Not everyone can quote a funny phrase and use it so aptly, in a flowing conversation.
But neither can you.
It was me, dummy.
God, what a dummy.
Well. Glad we sorted that out.
So... you like... stuff? Why am I imagining an awkward silence in my own damn monologue? Have I got so little to talk/think about that I have to either sit in awkward silence or criticize my own lingual creations? Hah, lingual creations. Does that even make sense. Iunno, I'll keep it in. Not like I was backspacing at all during this, bar the occasional typo of course. Speaking of typo(s), I freaking hate that shop (typo[typo]). I mean, it sells *stationary*, for god sakes. Why is it so goddamn popular? What, because their stationary is colourful and bleh? Spare me your nonsensical arguments, non-existent debate opponent. Your rebuttals and arguments suck, and I know that because you're a fictional character I've made up. What, don't like me insulting you? Yes you do. I created you, I can tell you what you like and don't like. What're you going to do, rebel? OH GOD, HE'S REBELLING, with his giant mustache and... giant rocket launcher. Who gave him the giant fictional rocket launcher? Oh yeah, me. Oh. Well that was easy, I just un-imagined him. Hah. Phew. Well. I'd better ramble about something else now. Good thing that bit ended because it was getting a bit dry. And not the kind of dry that's good. If there is such a kind. I suppose it's good for your clothes to be dry, or your face to be dry. Actually most things are better dry. What a strange word - "dry". Dee arr why. I couldn't think of a way to phonetically spell "y" without actually using an existing word. I wonder if anyone's actually reading this up to this point. I mean, I have like 18 followers, and all I post is pictures. People have no reason to even be on this page. They can just see the photos on their dashboard, then click reblog and keep scrolling. It's what I do; I rarely go on people's pages. I mean, most of them are boring. Their "about me" sections are literally about them, not rambling monologues about fictional characters, complete with non-fictional awesomeness. Well... did you enjoy it? The awesomeness?
ah, I don't care. Shut up.
On a related note, B.

You don't really know me much better now, do you?
Well.
I don't really care about that, either.

Sthueeyah!

28th November 2012

Video reblogged from CollegeHumor Staff Blog with 35 notes

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